The Federal Republic of Chicagoan States is a massive, genial nation, ruled by President Sean Pawłowski with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working population of 2.215 billion Chicagoans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Chicago. The average income tax rate is 30.8%.

The Chicagoan Statesian economy, worth 96.2 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 43,416 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist, and the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chicagoan States's national animal is the Coyote, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Chicagoan States is ranked 38,098^th in the world and 1^st in 2026 and Beyond for Most Primitive, scoring 65.19 on the Scary Big Number Scale.