The Corrupt Emirati Oil Company of City Football Group is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan with an iron fist, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, compulsory military service, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.843 billion Emiratis are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abu Dhabi. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Emirati economy, worth a remarkable 1,314 trillion Dirhams a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 225,019 Dirhams, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,214,014 per year while the poor average 21,643, a ratio of 56.1 to 1.

Pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, a murderous reputation can revitalise a flagging celebrity career, and the inchworm that measured the marigolds is six feet under. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. City Football Group's national animal is the Cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Mansourism.

City Football Group is ranked 82,676^th in the world and 35^th in FIFA Lands for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 3,593.69 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.