by Max Barry

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The Incorporated States of Cocktail Waitresses

“Straight up, right?”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Balder


Cocktail Waitresses

Population16.715 billion

CapitalVending Machine
LeaderDoctor Benway

Animalalien life form

The Incorporated States of Cocktail Waitresses is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Doctor Benway with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, digital currency, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 16.715 billion Cocktail Waitresses hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vending Machine. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The Cocktail Waitressing economy, worth a remarkable 1,600 trillion pogosticks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 95,763 pogosticks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Re-education centers are being added to most prisons, farting etiquette is taught in schools, the government is funding experimental battery technology while the power grid continues to crumble, and the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cocktail Waitresses's national animal is the alien life form, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cocktail Waitresses is ranked 162,542nd in the world and 7,041st in Balder for Most Devout, with 2.71 Prayers Per Hour.

Most Pacifist: 1,267thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,330thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,354thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,421stHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,516thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,572ndTop
Safest: 1,748thBest Weather: 1,794thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,820thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,196thLargest Governments: 2,360thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,790thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,806thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,867thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,935thHealthiest Citizens: 3,212thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,286thMost Cultured: 3,289thNicest Citizens: 3,461stSmartest Citizens: 3,483rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,794thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,237thLowest Crime Rates: 4,408thMost Secular: 6,548thLargest Populations: 7,973rdHighest Economic Output: 8,276thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 8,497thMost Influential: 9,185thMost Inclusive: 10,463rdNudest: 12,685thMost Scientifically Advanced: 14,527th
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 39th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 46th in the regionMost Pacifist: 47th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 48th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 56th in the regionBest Weather: 57th in the regionMost Influential: 58th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 60th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 65th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 68th in the regionSafest: 69th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 71st in the regionTop
Largest Governments: 99th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 120th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 120th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 122nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 129th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 133rd in the regionMost Cultured: 141st in the regionNicest Citizens: 143rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 159th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 161st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 167th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 200th in the regionLargest Populations: 213th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 227th in the regionMost Secular: 330th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 354th in the regionTop
Most Inclusive: 554th in the regionNudest: 555th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 5 » Onder Kelkia, Alvalero, Fooooooooo, Soque, and North East Somerset.

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