The Republic of Colonial Relic Number 7000 is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, triple-decker prams, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.615 billion Portuchese subjects are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Colonial economy, worth 520 trillion escudoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 112,808 escudoes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 482,742 per year while the poor average 16,899, a ratio of 28.6 to 1.

Leader is refusing to make decisions until the Moon is out of Capricorn, industry tycoons rarely hide their misdeeds due to the government's habit of bailing them out, the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem", and dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force. Colonial Relic Number 7000's national animal is the Iberian wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Colonial Relic Number 7000 is ranked 117,399^th in the world and 5,313^th in Osiris for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,544.43 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.