by Max Barry

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The Aggressive Dick-tatorship of Coltvania

“Fight For The Lost!”

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Excessive
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Amerikanisch Empiredom

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Coltvania

Population22.224 billion

CapitalValencia
LeaderLord Regent Colton
FaithAbbey Of The Coltvanian People

Currencycoltvanian doller
Animalkiller guinea pig

The Aggressive Dick-tatorship of Coltvania is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Lord Regent Colton with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, infamous sell-swords, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 22.224 billion Coltvanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valencia. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Coltvanian economy, worth a remarkable 6,309 trillion coltvanian dollers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 283,926 coltvanian dollers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The secret ingredient is love (and MSG), children are often punished for the sins of the fathers, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army, and the government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coltvania's national animal is the killer guinea pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Abbey Of The Coltvanian People.

Coltvania is ranked 204,362nd in the world and 1st in Amerikanisch Empiredom for Most Primitive, scoring -626.01 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 745thHighest Economic Output: 1,165thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,321stLargest Governments: 1,489thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,522ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,665thMost Stationary: 1,677thLargest Mining Sector: 1,850thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,943rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,948thLargest Black Market: 1,972ndFattest Citizens: 2,032ndTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,250thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,254thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,258thHighest Average Incomes: 2,313thLowest Crime Rates: 2,327thSmartest Citizens: 2,385thHighest Drug Use: 2,452ndMost Subsidized Industry: 2,601stMost Developed: 2,616thMost Efficient Economies: 2,695thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,941stMost Cultured: 3,262ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,268thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,873rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,887thRudest Citizens: 4,349thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,599thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,933rdLargest Populations: 4,993rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,108thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,138thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6,339thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,041stMost Influential: 7,230thNudest: 9,234thLargest Welfare Programs: 9,239thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,028thTop
10%
Most Inclusive: 14,114thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,231stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 15,421st

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Drug Use.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Smartest Citizens.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Tax Rates and Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Incomes.
  • : Coltvania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, Highest Poor Incomes, Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, and Fattest Citizens and the Top 10% for Most World Assembly Endorsements.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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