by Max Barry

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The People's Republic of Communist Kyrgyzstan

“Бардык өлкөлөрдүн пролетарлары, бириккиле!”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Powerhouse
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: International Socialism

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Communist Kyrgyzstan

Population12.595 billion

CapitalFrunze

CurrencyRouble
AnimalCamel

The People's Republic of Communist Kyrgyzstan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The cynical population of 12.595 billion Kyrgyz are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Frunze. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Kyrgyz economy, worth a remarkable 1,169 trillion Roubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Trout Farming, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 92,866 Roubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It ain't easy to be green enough to be imported into Communist Kyrgyzstan, solving crossword puzzles requires fluency in at least five languages, the disabled are forced to undergo an MRI scan every time they pick up their benefit payments, and politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Communist Kyrgyzstan's national animal is the Camel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Communist Kyrgyzstan is ranked 5,670th in the world and 10th in International Socialism for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 6,002.1 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
5%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,465thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,369thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,969thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,670thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,913thTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 7,896thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,189thMost Pacifist: 9,348thSafest: 9,464thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,473rdHighest Economic Output: 12,067thBest Weather: 12,687thLargest Governments: 12,696thLowest Crime Rates: 12,798thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,933rdNudest: 14,120thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,810thMost Corrupt Governments: 14,918thMost Beautiful Environments: 15,228thLargest Populations: 15,268thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,455th
Top
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Communist Kyrgyzstan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Communist Kyrgyzstan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Communist Kyrgyzstan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Communist Kyrgyzstan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • : Following new legislation in Communist Kyrgyzstan, politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems.
  • : Following new legislation in Communist Kyrgyzstan, the disabled are forced to undergo an MRI scan every time they pick up their benefit payments.
  • : Following new legislation in Communist Kyrgyzstan, solving crossword puzzles requires fluency in at least five languages.
  • : Following new legislation in Communist Kyrgyzstan, it ain't easy to be green enough to be imported into Communist Kyrgyzstan.
  • : Following new legislation in Communist Kyrgyzstan, sending sick politicians "Get Well Soon" cards is considered bribery.
  • : Following new legislation in Communist Kyrgyzstan, nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines.

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