The Directorial Republic of Cospania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Federal Council of Cospania with a fair hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, triple-decker prams, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 17.491 billion Cospanians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cispaltania. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Cospanian economy, worth a remarkable 6,478 trillion Lire a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 370,377 Lire, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,391,725 per year while the poor average 23,094, a ratio of 103 to 1.

Wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them, mandatory state-funded classes teach Libertarianism, only the rich can afford the latest medical innovations, and anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Cospania's national animal is the Squid, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Cospania is ranked 31,412^th in the world and 604^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Patriotic, with 42.17 flags saluted per person per day.