The United Catholic Provinces of Cowtopia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by King Acacius Thaddeus II with an even hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 4.181 billion Cowtopians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mooington. The average income tax rate is 73.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cowtopian economy, worth 526 trillion Moolahs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 125,980 Moolahs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Executions are marked by quiet dignity and maybe a final round or two of whist, the nation frequently scolds its subject territories for staying up past bedtime, voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, and the only film released this month was "Prayervengers: Heresy War". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cowtopia's national animal is the Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Cowtopia is ranked 37,284^th in the world and 26^th in Union of Christian Nations for Highest Average Incomes, with 125,980.84 Standard Monetary Units.