The Armed Republic of Crazed monkies is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Bingo from the Banana Splits with an even hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, smutty television, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 32.879 billion Crazed monkiesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monkey Mountain. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazed monkiesian economy, worth an astonishing 11,935 trillion Damn dirty apes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 363,006 Damn dirty apes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Dentists routinely perform open heart surgery, the tenet of free speech is held dear, the Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, and tuba players are paid to quietly whisper into their instruments. Crime is totally unknown. Crazed monkies's national animal is the Human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Crazed monkies is ranked 312^th in the world and 7^th in the South Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 17,684.54 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.