by Max Barry

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The Armed Republic of Crazed monkies

“Vote monkey, get monkey”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Good

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Crazed monkies

Population34.668 billion

CapitalMonkey Mountain
LeaderBingo from the Banana Splits

CurrencyDamn dirty ape
AnimalHuman

The Armed Republic of Crazed monkies is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Bingo from the Banana Splits with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, infamous sell-swords, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 34.668 billion Crazed monkiesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monkey Mountain. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazed monkiesian economy, worth an astonishing 12,922 trillion Damn dirty apes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 372,736 Damn dirty apes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework, there's never enough space in space, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, and excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. Crime is totally unknown. Crazed monkies's national animal is the Human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Crazed monkies is ranked 203,490th in the world and 7,469th in the South Pacific for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.52 Crimes Per Hour.

Top
1%
Most Beautiful Environments: 7thBest Weather: 13thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 36thMost Secular: 45thSmartest Citizens: 48thMost Developed: 58thLongest Average Lifespans: 70thHealthiest Citizens: 82ndMost Advanced Public Education: 170thHighest Poor Incomes: 181stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 220thHighest Economic Output: 233rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 242ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 299thLargest Information Technology Sector: 413thMost Stationary: 440thMost Inclusive: 596thLargest Governments: 638thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 674thRudest Citizens: 687thLargest Black Market: 692ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 854thHighest Average Incomes: 974thLargest Populations: 995thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,058thMost Efficient Economies: 1,264thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,440thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 2,400thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,442ndSafest: 3,354thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,571stLowest Crime Rates: 3,586thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4,309thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,193rdMost Rebellious Youth: 5,254thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,524thMost Income Equality: 9,906thTop
10%
Most Influential: 11,701stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 17,989th
Top
1%
Most Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 3rd in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 5th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Developed: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 8th in the regionLargest Populations: 9th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 11th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13th in the regionLargest Black Market: 17th in the regionLargest Governments: 18th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 21st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 25th in the regionMost Inclusive: 26th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 27th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 29th in the regionRudest Citizens: 36th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 37th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 41st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 45th in the regionTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 86th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 108th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 108th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 112th in the regionSafest: 115th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 134th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 141st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 235th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 251st in the regionTop
10%
Most Income Equality: 463rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 518th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 636th in the regionNudest: 654th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, there's never enough space in space.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework.
  • : Crazed monkies was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Income Equality.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Bingo from the Banana Splits to meetings with foreign heads of state.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, lobotomised jaywalkers can barely ambulate let alone repeat their offences.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, they say that Crazed monkiesians made a dessert and called it peace.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists.

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