by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Armed Republic of Crazed monkies

“Vote monkey, get monkey”

Category: Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Crazed monkies

Population36.763 billion

CapitalMonkey Mountain
LeaderBingo from the Banana Splits

CurrencyDamn dirty ape
AnimalHuman

The Armed Republic of Crazed monkies is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bingo from the Banana Splits with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 36.763 billion Crazed monkiesians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monkey Mountain. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazed monkiesian economy, worth an astonishing 13,332 trillion Damn dirty apes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 362,651 Damn dirty apes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes, the leading national news source is 'my cousin Billy-Bob on MyFace', UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, and abattoirs are struggling with the directive to 'wait until the animal dies of a ripe old age'. Crime is totally unknown. Crazed monkies's national animal is the Human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Crazed monkies is ranked 215,559th in the world and 6,741st in the South Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -83.85 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Most Beautiful Environments: 5thBest Weather: 14thMost Secular: 34thSmartest Citizens: 39thMost Developed: 56thLongest Average Lifespans: 66thHealthiest Citizens: 77thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 208thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 216thMost Advanced Public Education: 233rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 240thHighest Economic Output: 249thHighest Food Quality: 274thHighest Poor Incomes: 333rdRudest Citizens: 340thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 379thLargest Information Technology Sector: 391stMost Stationary: 416thLargest Governments: 427thMost Scientifically Advanced: 483rdMost Inclusive: 495thHighest Average Tax Rates: 554thMost Patriotic: 724thMost Efficient Economies: 769thLargest Populations: 960thHighest Average Incomes: 1,163rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,220thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,511thSafest: 1,596thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,937thTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 2,422ndMost Subsidized Industry: 3,734thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,173rdMost Rebellious Youth: 5,513thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,147thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 8,590thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,024thTop
10%
Least Corrupt Governments: 11,747thMost Influential: 11,812thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 16,642ndMost Income Equality: 16,972ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,584th
Top
1%
Most Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 3rd in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionMost Developed: 5th in the regionMost Stationary: 5th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 5th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 8th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 11th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 12th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 12th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13th in the regionLargest Governments: 14th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 17th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 21st in the regionMost Inclusive: 21st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 21st in the regionMost Patriotic: 23rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 24th in the regionRudest Citizens: 24th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 34th in the regionSafest: 50th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 52nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 55th in the regionTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 74th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 75th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 86th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 130th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 155th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 251st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 295th in the regionTop
10%
Nudest: 397th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 399th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 403rd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 465th in the regionLargest Black Market: 589th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 598th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 623rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, abattoirs are struggling with the directive to 'wait until the animal dies of a ripe old age'.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, the leading national news source is 'my cousin Billy-Bob on MyFace'.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, Crazed monkiesian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.
  • : Crazed monkies was reclassified from "Democratic Socialists" to "Scandinavian Liberal Paradise".
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, too many hyper-intelligent chefs can spoil the allegorical broth.
  • : Crazed monkies was reclassified from "Scandinavian Liberal Paradise" to "Democratic Socialists".
  • : Following new legislation in Crazed monkies, dozens of viewers go online to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375.

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