The Constitutional Monarchy of Crownwood is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Sarah Stook with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 14.888 billion Crownwoodians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Violia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Crownwoodian economy, worth a remarkable 2,603 trillion Aurums a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 174,883 Aurums, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 673,689 per year while the poor average 31,225, a ratio of 21.6 to 1.

Sex-ed is child's play, group photos of the members of parliament are often mistaken for family reunions, social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crownwood's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Crownwood is ranked 18,657^th in the world and 1,255^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 90.84 law-abiding acts per hour.