by Max Barry

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The Nomadic Legion of Cruciland

“Avur Elohim, memshala, gam kavod!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Enforcer

Location: Cymopolia

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Cruciland

Population12.907 billion

CapitalKokhavkiryah
LeaderKeysar David Aryelev
FaithHistorical Christianity

CurrencyNiquda
Animalsabertoothed cheetah

The Nomadic Legion of Cruciland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Keysar David Aryelev with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, public floggings, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.907 billion Crucilandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kokhavkiryah. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crucilandian economy, worth a remarkable 8,881 trillion Niqudas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 688,127 Niqudas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench, the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", refugee camp conversions to Historical Christianity are increasingly common, and small shoes often wash up on the beach. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cruciland's national animal is the sabertoothed cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Historical Christianity.

Cruciland is ranked 121,077th in the world and 14th in Cymopolia for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -1.77 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 4thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17thLargest Information Technology Sector: 19thLargest Black Market: 21stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 36thMost Scientifically Advanced: 52ndHighest Average Incomes: 65thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 69thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 106thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 109thMost Subsidized Industry: 130thMost Corrupt Governments: 192ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 215thMost Devout: 252ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 316thLowest Crime Rates: 325thLargest Governments: 326thMost Advanced Public Education: 332ndLargest Insurance Industry: 346thSmartest Citizens: 462ndHighest Economic Output: 466thMost Efficient Economies: 505thHighest Average Tax Rates: 632ndHealthiest Citizens: 647thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 848thLargest Mining Sector: 886thTop
5%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 2,183rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,499thLargest Retail Industry: 3,130thMost Cultured: 3,487thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,498thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,739thRudest Citizens: 5,028thMost Income Equality: 6,331stMost Beautiful Environments: 6,914thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 10,688thMost Developed: 11,957thLargest Populations: 14,718thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 15,536th
Top
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, small shoes often wash up on the beach.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, refugee camp conversions to Historical Christianity are increasingly common.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue".
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, retiring citizens are dragged away in the middle of the night by mysterious men in black suits.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, Kokhavkiryah is a police state during international summits.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, school football matches are usually five-a-side.
  • : Cruciland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Rudest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Cruciland, it can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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