The Illustrious Confederacy of Czartopia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Grand Czar Okazaki with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, prohibition of alcohol, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 16.847 billion Czartopians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xiomoci. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Czartopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,986 trillion schmeckles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 177,245 schmeckles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, the government is funding experimental battery technology while the power grid continues to crumble, hospitals have unveiled new guidelines suggesting that latex gloves do not count as clothing, and it is now illegal for teens to view any sites except Club Kitten and My Little Donkey. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Czartopia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Czartopia is ranked 16,203^rd in the world and 65^th in 10000 Islands for Most Patriotic, with 57.84 flags saluted per person per day.