by Max Barry

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The Modern Portfolio Theory of Daedra1a

“DULCE ET DECORUM EST PRO PATRIA MORI”

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Dominator

Location: Daedra1a Zombie Fort

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Daedra1a

Population32.184 billion

CapitalOpulentia
LeaderHIM Opulentus I
FaithEfficient Frontier

CurrencyExpected Return
AnimalRisk-free Asset

The Modern Portfolio Theory of Daedra1a is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by HIM Opulentus I with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 32.184 billion Daedra1ans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Defense and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Opulentia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Daedra1an economy, worth an astonishing 29,987 trillion Expected Returns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 931,754 Expected Returns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,691,862 per year while the poor average 8,832, a ratio of 984 to 1.

Schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts, a third of Daedra1ans are e-certified CEOs, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, and formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Daedra1a's national animal is the Risk-free Asset, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Efficient Frontier.

Daedra1a is ranked 226,492nd in the world and 2nd in Daedra1a Zombie Fort for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -68.26 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Top
1%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 2ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 10thFattest Citizens: 11thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12thMost Efficient Economies: 12thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 13thLargest Retail Industry: 14thRudest Citizens: 15thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 15thLargest Agricultural Sector: 15thLargest Insurance Industry: 16thHighest Average Incomes: 16thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 16thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 18thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 19thMost Avoided: 22ndHighest Economic Output: 25thMost Corrupt Governments: 26thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 27thLargest Gambling Industry: 31stLargest Mining Sector: 45thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 57thMost Secular: 67thMost Scientifically Advanced: 146thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 151stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 242ndSmartest Citizens: 279thMost Armed: 430thLargest Publishing Industry: 462ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,468thLargest Populations: 1,653rdTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,270thLargest Governments: 2,466thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,598thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 3,616thLargest Black Market: 5,276thTop
10%
Most Pro-Market: 16,569thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,124th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, a third of Daedra1ans are e-certified CEOs.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, HIM Opulentus I will only ring up foreign leaders if they agree to reverse the charges.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, blood stains the floors of the execution room and the hands of the state.
  • : Following new legislation in Daedra1a, court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs.

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