by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Kingdom of Darkmen

“gold or lead”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendNuke ControlCards

Darkmen

Population13.783 billion

CapitalDarkmen City
Leaderagustus nero

Currencyhuman females
Animalrancors

The Kingdom of Darkmen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by agustus nero with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.783 billion Darkmenians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darkmen City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Darkmenian economy, worth a remarkable 7,180 trillion human femaleses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 520,950 human femaleses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,879,242 per year while the poor average 4,689, a ratio of 1,040 to 1.

The people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge, putting a mustache on a banknote is considered defacing a national monument, and space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Darkmen. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Darkmen's national animal is the rancors, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Darkmen is ranked 207,468th in the world and 8,199th in the South Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 4,689.71 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 25thLargest Gambling Industry: 35thMost Corrupt Governments: 35thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 46thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 48thMost Avoided: 49thMost Ignorant Citizens: 59thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 61stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 66thFattest Citizens: 70thLargest Retail Industry: 70thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 85thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 90thHighest Disposable Incomes: 97thLargest Insurance Industry: 102ndMost Devout: 126thLargest Mining Sector: 133rdMost Primitive: 193rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 196thHighest Average Incomes: 247thRudest Citizens: 401stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 524thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 526thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 577thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 607thMost Armed: 784thHighest Economic Output: 934thMost Efficient Economies: 1,064thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,087thTop
5%
Most Stationary: 4,914thLargest Governments: 8,019thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,719thLargest Black Market: 10,486thMost Conservative: 11,174thTop
10%
Most Influential: 12,005thLargest Populations: 16,776thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 17,015thMost Subsidized Industry: 20,320th
Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionMost Devout: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Primitive: 8th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 8th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 15th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionRudest Citizens: 17th in the regionMost Armed: 20th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 25th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 30th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 48th in the regionTop
5%
Most Stationary: 108th in the regionLargest Populations: 187th in the regionLargest Governments: 207th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 215th in the regionLargest Black Market: 312th in the regionTop
10%
Most Conservative: 575th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 594th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 770th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 800th in the regionMost Extreme: 829th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, space has been brought down to earth with constellations of cancer cases across Darkmen.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, putting a mustache on a banknote is considered defacing a national monument.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, nations across the world are quick to praise agustus nero's good looks and intellectual prowess.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, veterans in wheelchairs are left waist-deep in rice paddies to gather grain.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, oracles predict landslide victories for agustus nero for the next 50 years.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, nihilistic thrill-seekers claim that suicide by roller coaster is the ultimate life experience.
  • : Following new legislation in Darkmen, Agustus nero signs the laws but abides by none of them.

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