The Dilly Dalliances of Darwin Finches is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Gallapagos with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.941 billion Darwin Finchesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Isabela. The average income tax rate is 54.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Darwin Finchesian economy, worth a remarkable 3,512 trillion Beaks a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 195,764 Beaks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Aspiring authors begrudgingly help proofread issue submissions (Darwin Finches has found 2 easter eggs), it's illegal to be caught on tape, a suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Darwin Finchesian politicians, and crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Darwin Finches's national animal is the Tortoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Darwinism.

Darwin Finches is ranked 125,588^th in the world and 1,278^th in the West Pacific for Nudest, with 149.5 cheeks per square mile.