The Paste Factory Orphans of Deadcatistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Elongated Muskrat with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 23.709 billion Deadcatistanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megacity One. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Deadcatistanian economy, worth a remarkable 7,976 trillion tears of orphans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 336,423 tears of orphans, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

Grocery stores can be audibly identified by the giggling emerging from them, major corporations receive tax breaks for no apparent reason, the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying, and kilts and cassocks are viewed with suspicion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Deadcatistan's national animal is the bearded hipster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the timeless wisdom of Billy Mays.

Deadcatistan is ranked 23,711^th in the world and 594^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 86.86 law-abiding acts per hour.