The Confederacy of Delcovia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Mikey Escobar with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, public floggings, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 31.671 billion Delcovians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Media. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Delcovian economy, worth an astonishing 11,954 trillion deadprezzes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an amazing 377,449 deadprezzes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,622,144 per year while the poor average 56,127, a ratio of 28.9 to 1.

Mikey Escobar reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle", the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, and surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Delcovia's national animal is the platypus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is No Established Church.

Delcovia is ranked 294,147^th in the world and 11,259^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.5 law-abiding acts per hour.