by Max Barry

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The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania

“God was a dream of good government.” The Despot

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Enforcer

Location: The Alliance of Dictators

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Despoticania

Population30.462 billion

CapitalDespoticania Prime
LeaderThe Despot
FaithChurch of Transcendental Hatred

CurrencyDespollar
AnimalWinged Unicorn Pig

The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, parental licensing program, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 30.462 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The average income tax rate is 97.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 32,228 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,057,990 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The World Despotic Dictatorship Games have been won again by Despoticania as no other country cares enough to compete, minority children find the right answer in school tests is always the most insulting one, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and organ donation is compulsory. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 77,257th in the world and 56th in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,807.92 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Highest Poor Incomes: 1stMost Scientifically Advanced: 1stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 3rdLargest Black Market: 4thHighest Average Incomes: 7thMost Efficient Economies: 9thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9thSmartest Citizens: 13thHighest Economic Output: 15thMost Subsidized Industry: 19thMost Advanced Public Education: 30thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 34thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 39thMost Cultured: 41stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 53rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 69thLargest Retail Industry: 87thLargest Agricultural Sector: 99thMost Secular: 112thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 146thLargest Mining Sector: 161stMost Corrupt Governments: 178thLargest Governments: 183rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 216thMost Armed: 241stMost Developed: 291stLongest Average Lifespans: 338thMost Stationary: 382ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 558thLowest Crime Rates: 615thLargest Publishing Industry: 912thMost Avoided: 1,073rdMost Rebellious Youth: 1,295thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,812thLargest Populations: 1,940thTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 2,290thMost Influential: 2,659thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,707thHealthiest Citizens: 4,499thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,126thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,223rdFattest Citizens: 9,696thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 11,097thMost Income Equality: 12,597thMost Inclusive: 14,478thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,645thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 17,040thLargest Welfare Programs: 19,238th
Top
1%
Largest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Populations: 4th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 4th in the regionMost Income Equality: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionRudest Citizens: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Avoided: 10th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionNudest: 11th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Despoticania's influence in The Alliance of Dictators rose from "Dealmaker" to "Enforcer".
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, organ donation is compulsory.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, minority children find the right answer in school tests is always the most insulting one.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, the World Despotic Dictatorship Games have been won again by Despoticania as no other country cares enough to compete.
  • : Despoticania's influence in The Alliance of Dictators fell from "Enforcer" to "Dealmaker".
  • : Despoticania voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn ravana".
  • : Despoticania voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Peaceful First Contact".
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web.

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