by Max Barry

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The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania

“God was a dream of good government.” The Despot

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Dealmaker

Location: The Alliance of Dictators

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Despoticania

Population32.092 billion

CapitalDespoticania Prime
LeaderThe Despot
FaithChurch of Transcendental Hatred

CurrencyDespollar
AnimalWinged Unicorn Pig

The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, compulsory military service, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 32.092 billion Despoticanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 34,354 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,070,489 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, a government program is underway to revitalize Despoticania's beaches, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, and The Despot's Dreadnought-class tankbuster limousine is said to have more ammunition than the entire Brancalandian Army. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 245,720th in the world and 120th in The Alliance of Dictators for Best Weather, with -2508 Meters Of Sunlight.

Top
1%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 1stHighest Poor Incomes: 1stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 2ndLargest Black Market: 4thHighest Average Incomes: 6thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7thSmartest Citizens: 9thHighest Economic Output: 11thMost Advanced Public Education: 11thMost Efficient Economies: 13thMost Subsidized Industry: 17thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 24thMost Secular: 29thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 32ndMost Cultured: 40thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 42ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 88thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 98thLargest Agricultural Sector: 102ndLargest Retail Industry: 107thLargest Governments: 140thMost Corrupt Governments: 140thLargest Mining Sector: 169thMost Developed: 204thMost Armed: 211thLongest Average Lifespans: 226thLowest Crime Rates: 330thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 359thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 365thMost Stationary: 382ndLargest Publishing Industry: 638thHighest Average Tax Rates: 866thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,552ndMost Rebellious Youth: 1,814thLargest Populations: 1,898thHealthiest Citizens: 2,000thTop
5%
Most Influential: 2,953rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,030thMost Avoided: 3,332ndRudest Citizens: 4,965thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,085thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,260thMost Authoritarian: 8,351stMost Income Equality: 10,232ndLargest Welfare Programs: 12,141stTop
10%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 16,356thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,856thMost Inclusive: 21,198th
Top
1%
Largest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Rebellious Youth: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Income Equality: 5th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 9th in the regionRudest Citizens: 10th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 11th in the regionMost Inclusive: 12th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, The Despot's Dreadnought-class tankbuster limousine is said to have more ammunition than the entire Brancalandian Army.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, a government program is underway to revitalize Despoticania's beaches.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, military spending is on the increase.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, in court almost every witness is a hostile witness.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, children spout "God was a dream of good government." involuntarily throughout the day.
  • : Despoticania was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for The Despot's eyes only'.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, graffiti graces every city's streets.

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