by Max Barry

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The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania

“God was a dream of good government.” The Despot

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Dealmaker

Location: The Alliance of Dictators

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Despoticania

Population28.837 billion

CapitalDespoticania Prime
LeaderThe Despot
FaithChurch of Transcendental Hatred

CurrencyDespollar
AnimalWinged Unicorn Pig

The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, parental licensing program, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 28.837 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The average income tax rate is 75.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 27,647 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 958,754 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

At the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold, lobotomised jaywalkers can barely ambulate let alone repeat their offences, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles, and saying "don't do anything that The Despot wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal. Crime is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 1,457th in the world and 1st in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 29,113.55 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Top
1%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 1stHighest Poor Incomes: 2ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 4thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6thHighest Average Incomes: 11thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12thSmartest Citizens: 15thLargest Black Market: 23rdHighest Economic Output: 24thMost Subsidized Industry: 27thMost Cultured: 49thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 50thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 58thLargest Retail Industry: 64thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 67thMost Advanced Public Education: 76thMost Secular: 116thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 148thLargest Mining Sector: 163rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 166thMost Corrupt Governments: 192ndLargest Governments: 252ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 314thLargest Gambling Industry: 326thMost Stationary: 407thLargest Agricultural Sector: 444thMost Avoided: 546thMost Efficient Economies: 557thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 859thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,004thLowest Crime Rates: 1,055thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,147thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,181stFattest Citizens: 1,188thRudest Citizens: 1,390thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,457thTop
5%
Largest Populations: 2,001stMost Influential: 2,693rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6,276thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,982ndTop
10%
Most Inclusive: 15,061stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,309thMost Developed: 15,768thHighest Average Tax Rates: 16,786th
Top
1%
Most Cultured: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionRudest Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Populations: 5th in the regionMost Avoided: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Most Inclusive: 7th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 7th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 10th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 12th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Despoticania was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Average Tax Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, saying "don't do anything that The Despot wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, lobotomised jaywalkers can barely ambulate let alone repeat their offences.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, at the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, being dead no longer has any benefits.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, Despoticanians refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear.
  • : Following new legislation in Despoticania, books are so highly regarded in Despoticania that libraries are often revered as holy shrines.

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