by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Republic of Diastathica

“Twirling Toward Freedom”

Category: Authoritarian Democracy
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Page

Location: Cainitium

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Diastathica

Population5.364 billion

Currencybaht
Animaleagle

The Republic of Diastathica is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, free-roaming dinosaurs, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.364 billion Diastathicans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 49.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Diastathican economy, worth 743 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 138,575 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, commemoration of the Great Cainitium War costs almost as much as the war itself, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts, and the sick and dying are locked in their homes with a red "X" painted on the front door. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Diastathica's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Diastathica is ranked 35,152nd in the world and 82nd in Cainitium for Smartest Citizens, with 49.16 quips per hour.

Top
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,260thMost Armed: 7,474thNudest: 10,576thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,958thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,982ndTop
10%
Highest Poor Incomes: 18,268thLargest Black Market: 18,955thMost Patriotic: 19,058thHighest Disposable Incomes: 19,455thMost Conservative: 23,228thMost Inclusive: 24,379thMost Authoritarian: 25,627thMost Scientifically Advanced: 26,046thMost Corrupt Governments: 28,043rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 28,808thHighest Average Incomes: 30,807thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 33,888th
Top
1%
Most Influential: 2nd in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 25th in the regionNudest: 32nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 47th in the regionLargest Populations: 57th in the regionMost Armed: 58th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 59th in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 75th in the regionLargest Black Market: 78th in the regionMost Conservative: 81st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 82nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 90th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 92nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 104th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 129th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 138th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Diastathica was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, the sick and dying are locked in their homes with a red "X" painted on the front door.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, commemoration of the Great Cainitium War costs almost as much as the war itself.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, vets have been drafted in to help "fix" those who fail the parental license exam.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, the men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League.
  • : Following new legislation in Diastathica, troops are either deafened by gunfire or a hysterical voice screaming the Party manifesto.

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