by Max Barry

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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine

“Where the deer’s swift leap startles the wild bee”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Good

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Lazarus

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 November - December

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2017

November - December

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November 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 6,715th in the world and 286th in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 14,363.91 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • Divine Cervine changed its national animal to "purple fairy deer".
    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    • 3D printed organs are a breath of new life for the sick and elderly. #850
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #602
    • Where there's smoke there's the Divine Cervine Forestry Department. #816

November 2nd, 2017

    • Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #675
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #083
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419

November 3rd, 2017

    • Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #786
    • The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. #145
    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #616
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #239

November 4th, 2017

    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #122

November 5th, 2017

    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #654
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #685

November 7th, 2017

    • The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #776
    • Drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. #449
    • No one is quite sure what many government officials look like. #852
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543

November 8th, 2017

    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #342

November 9th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 49th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 389.09 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
    • Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #069
    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #036
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November 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 40th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 219.43 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • The government funds large training centres to turn purple fairy deer into functioning members of society. #133
    • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
    • Citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government. #283
    • It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #813
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November 11th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,400th in the world and 61st in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,723.59 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs. #502
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November 12th, 2017

    • Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359
    • The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. #807
    • The government spends millions of ค luminous orbs every year prosecuting spammers. #094
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #507
    • Several underground organisations in Divine Cervine have recently been spreading discontent throughout the populace about not being able to vote. #177 dismissed

November 14th, 2017

    • The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. #720
    • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #071
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive.
    • Sections of the police receive paramilitary training. #455

November 15th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 82nd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 96.8 Years.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Economic Output.
    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003
    • There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #739
    • Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #636
    • Pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty. #858
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November 17th, 2017

    • While effusively praising Divine Cervine’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future. #011 dismissed
    • Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
    • The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees. #035
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #626
    • The Museum of Soybeans is the cultural heart of the nation. #581
    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #659

November 18th, 2017

    • Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #803
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
    • Divine Cervine's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand. #093
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #637
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #518

November 19th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 246th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 90.96 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.
    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Nudest.
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November 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 67th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 4,464.98 Tourists Per Hour.
    • A primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world. #129 increases Economic Freedom -99.25 → -98, Wealth Gaps 1.01 → 1.02, lowers Income Equality 99.29 → 98.12
    • Children crying over dropped ice creams are offered high doses of experimental antidepressants. #576
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November 21st, 2017

    • An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #661

November 23rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 14,091st in the world and 380th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 1,835 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
    • Minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home. #055 dismiss lowers Niceness 153.86 → 153.78 -0.05%, Cheerfulness 90.96 → 90.87 -0.1%
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #667
    • There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
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November 24th, 2017

    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
    • Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
    • The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #856

November 25th, 2017

    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #081
    • The government is giving peace a chance. #312

November 26th, 2017

    • People faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. #092
    • Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264

November 27th, 2017

    • A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #324
    • Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward. #728
    • Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. #749
    • Students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic. #860 lowers Niceness 153.94 → 153.86 -0.05%, Cheerfulness 90.96 → 90.87 -0.1%

November 29th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,688th in the world and 166th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 378.75 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
    • There's never enough space in space. #754
    • Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #811
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December 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 466th in the world and 16th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 223,397.12 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670
    • Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053
    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
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December 2nd, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 47th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 98.96 on the Human Development Index.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Nudest.
    • Urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts. #579
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #222
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December 3rd, 2017

    • Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #800
    • Scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied purple fairy deer. #033 DISMISS decreases Income Equality 98.35 → 98.12 -0.23%
    • Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #830
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547

December 4th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,271st in the world and 28th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.12 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • Military funding has been stripped back. #014
    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
    • There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138
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December 5th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,651st in the world and 165th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 380.33 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
    • A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #031
    • Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #719
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December 6th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 44th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 41,862.93 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
    • The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #023
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
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December 8th, 2017

    • Family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries. #868 dismiss lowers Niceness 154.70 → 154.61 -0.06%, Compassion 223.28 → 223.15 -0.06%
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492
    • The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #768
    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672

December 10th, 2017

    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
    • Divine Cervine's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region. #061
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #062
    • The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #262
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Excellent to Superb.
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #624

December 11th, 2017

    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
    • All beauty contests have been banned. #101
    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589
    • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #490

December 13th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 23rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 28,186.05 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385
    • Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #706
    • Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'. #510
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Invading armies are given hard glares for their cheek. #244
    • Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721
    • Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #525

December 14th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,425th in the world and 144th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 386.2 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251
    • The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
    • Ten-year-olds are applying for lemonade stand operator licences. #772
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
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December 15th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 93rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 1,391 Meters Of Sunlight.
    • In this vegetarian nation the delicious smell of roasted meat is oddly commonplace. #625
    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501
    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #036
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December 16th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 46th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 98.99 on the Human Development Index.
    • Fashion magazine covers finally display realistic body images following photo-manipulation becoming illegal. #613
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275
    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #601
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December 18th, 2017

    • Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638
    • Anti-government web sites are springing up. #037
    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

December 19th, 2017

    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
    • Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338
    • Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #773

December 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 7,123rd in the world and 303rd in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 13,956.06 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #064
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #415
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December 21st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 469th in the world and 17th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 225,597.72 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #785
    • Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365
    • Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #798
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December 22nd, 2017


December 23rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 45th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 35,770.97 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • It is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. #705
    • In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
    • The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #763
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December 24th, 2017

    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
    • People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600

December 25th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,801st in the world and 149th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 97.53 Atheism Rate.
    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #152
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Superb to Excellent.
    • The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to unfettered public protest is enshrined in law.
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
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December 26th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 53rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 156.78 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099
    • Artists are pillars of society. #124
    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #440
    • Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #834
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December 27th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 45th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 42,292.14 on the Edu-tellignceฎ Test Score.
    • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135
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December 29th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 76th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 97.04 Years.
    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
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December 30th, 2017

    • Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Excellent to Superb.
    • The national policy allowing Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to unfettered public protest is enshrined in law.
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #522

December 31st, 2017

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