by Max Barry

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The Slow Loud Breathers of Donkervader

“All your planets are belong to us!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Auxiliary

Location: Hell

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Donkervader

Population28.785 billion

CapitalCoruscant
LeaderLukas Ligloper
FaithForce Activism

Currencyleft hand
Animaltauntaun

The Slow Loud Breathers of Donkervader is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Lukas Ligloper with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, parental licensing program, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 28.785 billion underlings are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coruscant. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Controlled by Vader economy, worth an astonishing 20,779 trillion left hands a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 721,880 left hands, with the richest citizens earning 8.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government has the power to seize property at will, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects, and Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Donkervader. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Donkervader's national animal is the tauntaun, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Force Activism.

Donkervader is ranked 100,162nd in the world and 31st in Hell for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 190.16 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 20thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 23rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 27thHighest Disposable Incomes: 27thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 29thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 33rdLargest Mining Sector: 34thMost Corrupt Governments: 50thHighest Average Incomes: 50thHighest Economic Output: 53rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 68thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 90thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 94thMost Avoided: 100thLargest Agricultural Sector: 106thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 108thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 118thLargest Retail Industry: 122ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 139thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 224thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 282ndLargest Black Market: 454thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 458thLowest Crime Rates: 543rdFattest Citizens: 636thHighest Poor Incomes: 817thLargest Information Technology Sector: 872ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,094thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,493rdMost Efficient Economies: 1,516thTop
5%
Largest Populations: 2,017thSmartest Citizens: 2,033rdRudest Citizens: 2,064thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,501stMost Influential: 3,914thLargest Governments: 4,179thMost Conservative: 4,975thMost Stationary: 6,899thMost Devout: 8,002ndTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,583rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10,961stMost Authoritarian: 12,146thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 15,274th
Top
5%
Highest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 4th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 4th in the regionMost Conservative: 4th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 5th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Donkervader.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, the government has the power to seize property at will.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, the beauty of coastal towns is marred only slightly by all the closed-down storefronts.
  • : Donkervader was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, arthritic citizens seem underrepresented at royal meet-and-greets.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, the hills are alive with the smell of burning flesh.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, gossip magazines are more interested in astrological stars than celebrity ones.
  • : Following new legislation in Donkervader, a recent "genocide prevention" campaign includes murdering children based on their DNA.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » The Stalker and Freddland.

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