by Max Barry

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The Kingdom of Doormanster

“The Door Shall Hold” Doorman

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker

Location: Norrland

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Doormanster

Population9.427 billion

CapitalDoormanster Door Factory
LeaderDoorman
FaithDoor Worship

CurrencyDoors
AnimalDoormouse

The Kingdom of Doormanster is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Doorman with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, lack of airports, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.427 billion Doormansterians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Doormanster Door Factory. The average income tax rate is 55.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Doormansterian economy, worth a remarkable 1,245 trillion Doors a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Uranium Mining, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 132,132 Doors, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The government raises tariffs on a weekly basis, programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate, and the wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Doormanster's national animal is the Doormouse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Door Worship.

Doormanster is ranked 159,845th in the world and 5th in Norrland for Most Devout, with 3.13 Prayers Per Hour.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 449thMost Corrupt Governments: 529thLargest Retail Industry: 552ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 649thLargest Mining Sector: 746thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 875thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 895thLargest Black Market: 1,098thMost Avoided: 1,180thMost Primitive: 1,531stTop
5%
Fattest Citizens: 2,551stMost Subsidized Industry: 3,505thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,220thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,194thTop
10%
Most Secular: 8,977thHighest Economic Output: 11,348thMost Efficient Economies: 12,395th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, the wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, the government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, the nation's diplomatic missives are now delivered via sniper rifle.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, one year's corporation tax from three international megacorporations has funded one dozen shiny black pencils for Doorman's office.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study.
  • : Following new legislation in Doormanster, turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'.

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