The Ramshackle Barn of Dorcas Kemp is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service and restrictive gun laws. The cynical, devout population of 3.365 billion Dorcas Kempians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Spirituality, with Law & Order, Welfare, and Defense also on the agenda. The average income tax rate is 37.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Dorcas Kempian economy, worth 128 trillion cow pies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 38,239 cow pies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dorcas Kemp's national animal is the holstein cow.

Dorcas Kemp is ranked 99,946^th in the world and 1^st in Old Man Yoders Barn for Lowest Crime Rates, with 67.92 law-abiding acts per hour.