The Democratic Republic of East Arlandia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Generalsekretär José María León with an iron fist, and remarkable for its digital currency, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 14.946 billion East Arlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Königsberg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 65.8%.

The strong East Arlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,139 trillion Ostmarks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 76,227 Ostmarks, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Generalsekretär José María León wears an armoured gauntlet, prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping, and they who do not work shall not eat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Arlandia's national animal is the Eagle and its national religion is Arlandian Evangelical Church.

East Arlandia is ranked 295,267^th in the world and 25^th in The Equator for Nudest, with 22.5 cheeks per square mile.