by Max Barry

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The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland

“Crush Their Spirits and You Will Control Their Minds”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: The Alliance of Dictators

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

East Borland

Population33.602 billion

CapitalThe Lair
LeaderHis Supreme Eminence
FaithOppression

CurrencySlave
AnimalGila Monster

The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Supreme Eminence with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, compulsory military service, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 33.602 billion East Borlandists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Lair. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient East Borlandian economy, worth an astonishing 27,599 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 821,369 Slaves, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,002,713 per year while the poor average 159,370, a ratio of 18.8 to 1.

Petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through His Supreme Eminence's window to draw attention to their issues, amusement park rides frequently collapse due to lack of maintenance, blasphemers and government critics often die in very unusual and unlikely accidents, and people spend a lot on hair and nails. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. East Borland's national animal is the Gila Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oppression.

East Borland is ranked 156,685th in the world and 65th in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 16.21 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.

Top
1%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1stMost Avoided: 1stMost Corrupt Governments: 1stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8thLargest Insurance Industry: 8thLargest Mining Sector: 9thFattest Citizens: 11thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11thHighest Disposable Incomes: 15thMost Secular: 15thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17thLargest Retail Industry: 23rdHighest Economic Output: 24thHighest Average Incomes: 28thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 34thMost Ignorant Citizens: 37thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 39thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 62ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 69thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 77thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 95thMost Primitive: 95thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 130thRudest Citizens: 152ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 177thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 242ndMost Armed: 291stLargest Governments: 310thLowest Crime Rates: 476thLargest Black Market: 773rdLargest Populations: 848thMost Stationary: 1,321stMost Efficient Economies: 1,560thTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,461stHighest Poor Incomes: 2,512thMost Influential: 6,520thTop
10%
Most Conservative: 12,385thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,598thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 15,669th
Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionLargest Black Market: 11th in the regionMost Influential: 11th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 11th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 12th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, people spend a lot on hair and nails.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, blasphemers and government critics often die in very unusual and unlikely accidents.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, amusement park rides frequently collapse due to lack of maintenance.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through His Supreme Eminence's window to draw attention to their issues.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, armed police are cracking down on untaxed collectable-card-trading in local junior schools.
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, education for the poor is learning to ask "do you want fries with that?".
  • : Following new legislation in East Borland, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering'.

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