by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Federal Sovereign Republic of East Wake Island

“It's simple. We invade West Wake Island” President Business

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Lazarus


East Wake Island

Population4.837 billion

CapitalEast Wake City
LeaderPresident Business

AnimalWake Island rail

The Federal Sovereign Republic of East Wake Island is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by President Business with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 4.837 billion East Wakeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of East Wake City. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Wakean economy, worth 794 trillion shells a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 164,318 shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population, a rolling news ticker tape of disclaimers runs across the bottom of the screen on all TV shows, the request to "give us our daily bread" can only be fulfilled six days out of seven, and trust-fund babies line up for places in community college. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Wake Island's national animal is the Wake Island rail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

East Wake Island is ranked 12,333rd in the world and 557th in Lazarus for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 5,574.47 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Most Cheerful Citizens: 2,420thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,639thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,596thHighest Average Tax Rates: 3,885thLargest Governments: 4,336thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,598thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,072ndHighest Poor Incomes: 5,187thLowest Crime Rates: 5,222ndMost Cultured: 5,280thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,360thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,656thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,853rdMost Efficient Economies: 6,013thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,028thMost Devout: 6,442ndMost Developed: 6,719thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,799thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,132ndTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 8,444thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,853rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,064thBest Weather: 9,084thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,144thHealthiest Citizens: 9,780thHighest Average Incomes: 9,820thNicest Citizens: 10,796thMost Inclusive: 10,898thSafest: 10,984thLargest Publishing Industry: 11,243rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12,333rdSmartest Citizens: 12,695thMost Pacifist: 14,880th
Most Cheerful Citizens: 107th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 172nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 179th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 185th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 224th in the regionLargest Governments: 231st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 244th in the regionMost Cultured: 273rd in the regionTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 306th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 306th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 321st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 341st in the regionMost Developed: 342nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 351st in the regionMost Devout: 353rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 364th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 373rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 386th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 449th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 452nd in the regionMost Influential: 453rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 484th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 517th in the regionBest Weather: 527th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 541st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 557th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 568th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 576th in the region

National Happenings

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