by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Free Land of Eastern Apalstan

“Capitalism, Freedom, Equality”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific


Eastern Apalstan

Population2.07 billion

LeaderSir Does-Nothing-A-Lot


The Free Land of Eastern Apalstan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Sir Does-Nothing-A-Lot with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, smutty television, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 2.07 billion Eastern Apalstanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ApalVille. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.0%.

The all-consuming Eastern Apalstanian economy, worth 268 trillion ApalVs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 129,839 ApalVs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 598,537 per year while the poor average 17,037, a ratio of 35.1 to 1.

Brazen mayors claim official expenses to pay for their drug habits, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", political gridlock ensues as even the most innocuous legislation is vetoed by the Supreme Court for potential civil rights violations, and nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Eastern Apalstan's national animal is the Bulldog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Money.

Eastern Apalstan is ranked 73,558th in the world and 1,501st in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 357.15923669572 days.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 539thHighest Crime Rates: 930thMost Influential: 1,076thRudest Citizens: 1,107thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,507thMost Avoided: 1,624thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,688thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,711thMost Armed: 1,759thLargest Retail Industry: 1,918thFattest Citizens: 2,228thHighest Drug Use: 2,507thTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 2,951stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,482ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,798thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,986thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,099thMost Devout: 8,676thLargest Mining Sector: 9,244thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11,267thMost Cheerful Citizens: 11,449thTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13,249thMost Valuable International Artwork: 15,145thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16,735thMost Inclusive: 18,004thMost Politically Free: 21,429thHighest Average Incomes: 21,823rd
Highest Crime Rates: 40th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 51st in the regionMost Avoided: 57th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 57th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 57th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 59th in the regionMost Armed: 62nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 73rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 74th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 86th in the regionMost Politically Free: 91st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 98th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 113th in the regionTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 146th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 194th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 235th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 235th in the regionMost Devout: 246th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 247th in the regionMost Influential: 316th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 350th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 360th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 381st in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 454th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 456th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 519th in the regionTop
Most Extreme: 585th in the regionNudest: 594th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 606th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 815th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 904th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 932nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 983rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 1,003rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 251 » Kranostav, Shibutani, Kwaj, Hellsinky, Aerilia, Lulubellia, Ethnon, ForestMythal, Pallaith, Napnomadia, Hardscrabble, Paradeavenlisian States, Ellbonnia, Great Bights Mum, Guer Aike, Yaorozu, Tachycardia, The Rhein States, United Soviet State of North Amerika, Dreadton, North Bratislava, Malta Comino Gozo, Eternal Dominion, Omnistria, Advancia-Sizzletown, Loutsland, Bankowiata, Notyoutopia, Holy Marcus Empire, Former English Colony, Holy Oranz, PotatoFarmers, New Lakemba, Joodey, The Jerichowan Country, Laudesia, Illusia and Neverendia, Koda-Land, Xagill, Siwale, Tibus Heth, Sil Dorsett, Frances Francis the First of France, Ayuzhhhhh, Svenskskit, Aeolist, Havonosa, Corfad, Wilkshire, Votak Matim, and 201 others.Tyirza, Seanat, Sunto, Sojenre, Q w e r t y, 1 very fast endotarter, Yellops, Altivia, Merconitonitopia, Empy, Card Kingdom, Destroedor, Unshleepd, Harjad, Seenvorland, Sikol, Wisconsota, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Logovets, Keld, Steampunk Ariel, Wineclaw, Aryan Homeland, Arquan, Arctic Kingdoms, Verderiesdre, Republic Sickle, Klodma, Parpyduckland, Unsophisticate, Northern Socialist Council Republics, Nordic-British Union, Amogus Sussy, El Guajuila, Detrivania, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, Mk Steele, Lil Nasbol, West Zebrupco Bageropirex, Pinguioris, Laxoimia, Kumejima, Lemsrow, The Sinclarian Provinces, XD 2, Democatic Donkeys, Randomcountryland, Naalfgarth, LostLegion, Brandenburg-Ansbach, Oannia, Chukstik Illahi, Western Vapia, Socialist Soviet Armenia, Vene Gra, Wooloo Unitedstrtes, Panama Coalition, Walter Jackson, Maott, Vesuva, ExploitNation, Kastonvia, Veltvalen, Dacian Freelands, Eraver, Zupla, Dromanius, Finchin, Dicko, Valentine Z, Aenglaland, A Salmon Named Harold, Demo Troplenia, Mystiquelle, Yalkan, Marmiedon, Federation Terra Australis, Irongirong, Megopoli, Nuronte, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Tehmistan, Luminerra, Rainengrad, Panterastan, FezEmerald, Perikuresu, Amestris-Britannia, The Erie Doctrine, Soviet Terran, Jaded Grammarians, Khoik, Pasargad, Pazair, Ozstan, Dakota Territories, DarThvadrville, Bongo Mountain, The Kingdom of Gamblers, KAP03land, Cobolica, Ohiyo, Regallio, Artelesia, Bornodia, Xentherida, Vincone Cae, Henrys milk state, Kandorith, The Arverni Lands, Konolas, Landraya, Waystar Fujiwara International, Laurendon, Blyskalia, Gragadoia, Bagojo, Sinelona, Inspiratus, Hops and Malt, Myrenia, Buckerino, Singamadri, Eggplant Island, Zemper Macro, Hulldom, Constantinolia, Loli County, Hoppem, Yara del sur, Ardonii, Hippogriffia, Gurou, Varisland, Filibustra, Orado, Plangainer, Jupi Utopia, Valiacorkit, Bud Prussia, United States of Dictators, Libertarianists States, Omicron Persei V111, Sannius, Prevaland, The Zheng Dynasty, Bardopia, Nationeer, Pinky Queen, Sakupolis, Banaus, Selfgradatude, Capablanca, Piura, Toilet Man, Lefevrerismo, Zyvetskistaahn, Heilhum Imperius, Testnation223, Scroplia, Miyasaka, Praestania, Communist Beijing Must be China, Inferior Impor, Surb Clant, Diodone, Ishtimbine, Berke Khan, Alfenheim, Smib, Sea Star Islands, Sechiole, Hopenadya, Kormisia, Aekp, Twinbrook, Liberepublia, SteelFists, Antiyard, Meadowfields, Your Own Medicine, Yokciq Empire, Individualist Catopia, Fatski land, Tape, Cartures, Cowbridge, Psykistria, The Austro Germanic Union, Zelenaya Dolina, Uritalitaria, Neo Santos, Commonwealths of America, Riocht mor Daraen, Volletnia, Neptunian Military Administration, TyGerria, Ovekisu, Lapplandish Tradonistria, Runeda, and Guslantis.