by Max Barry

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The Disputed Territories of Eastern Kalamazoom

“Blood Brings Death” Doctor Death

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Osiris

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Eastern Kalamazoom

Population9.431 billion

CapitalThe Citadel of Blood
LeaderDoctor Death
FaithDeath Worship

CurrencyCrosskill
AnimalBearded Wartsaur

The Disputed Territories of Eastern Kalamazoom is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Doctor Death with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, enslaved workforce, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.431 billion Eastern Kalatches are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Citadel of Blood. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eastern Kalamazoomian economy, worth a remarkable 2,515 trillion Crosskills a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 266,748 Crosskills, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,483,837 per year while the poor average 2,586, a ratio of 960 to 1.

Oil rigs in winter are heated by contained oil slick fires, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts, armoured pyjamas are in fashion amongst the nation's nobility, and the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Eastern Kalamazoom's national animal is the Bearded Wartsaur, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Death Worship.

Eastern Kalamazoom is ranked 416th in the world and 9th in Osiris for Fattest Citizens, with 81.9 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 87thLargest Retail Industry: 278thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 285thMost Ignorant Citizens: 311thMost Avoided: 403rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 413thFattest Citizens: 416thMost Corrupt Governments: 443rdLargest Gambling Industry: 598thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 725thLargest Insurance Industry: 765thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 813thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 831stHighest Disposable Incomes: 883rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 926thLargest Mining Sector: 1,140thMost Devout: 1,279thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,699thTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 2,563rdRudest Citizens: 2,633rdHighest Average Incomes: 2,794thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,826thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,500thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,055thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,185thHighest Economic Output: 5,493rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,453rdMost Armed: 9,134thTop
10%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 11,101stMost Stationary: 11,509thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14,408thLargest Black Market: 15,293rdMost Conservative: 17,299thMost Influential: 17,710thMost Subsidized Industry: 19,235thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 20,321st
Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Avoided: 10th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 11th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 16th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 19th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 26th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 27th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 27th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 27th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 41st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 42nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 56th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 61st in the regionMost Devout: 68th in the regionTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 82nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 87th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 94th in the regionMost Stationary: 131st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 168th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 170th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 191st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 207th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 217th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 277th in the regionMost Influential: 294th in the regionTop
10%
Most Armed: 410th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 513th in the regionMost Conservative: 629th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 698th in the regionMost Extreme: 735th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, armoured pyjamas are in fashion amongst the nation's nobility.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, oil rigs in winter are heated by contained oil slick fires.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, radio stations are forbidden to play anything with too much drum or bass.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, neighboring nations are tired of Eastern Kalamazoom's big fish stories.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, policemen regularly conduct midnight raids on closed donut shops to 'collect evidence'.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, video evidence of cruel animal experiments tends to be of poor quality.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, the industries of Eastern Kalamazoom are coughing all the way to the bank.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, the diplomatic corps tends to open negotiations by insulting all the foreigners in the room.

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