by Max Barry

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The Disputed Territories of Eastern Kalamazoom

“Blood Brings Death” Doctor Death

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Osiris

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Eastern Kalamazoom

Population7.828 billion

CapitalThe Citadel of Blood
LeaderDoctor Death
FaithDeath Worship

CurrencyCrosskill
AnimalBearded Wartsaur

The Disputed Territories of Eastern Kalamazoom is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Doctor Death with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, flagrant waste-dumping, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.828 billion Eastern Kalatches are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Citadel of Blood. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eastern Kalamazoomian economy, worth a remarkable 1,880 trillion Crosskills a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 240,224 Crosskills, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,235,089 per year while the poor average 2,351, a ratio of 950 to 1.

Photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls, artists regularly face criminal charges and art-burning parties are common, swarms of present-laden delivery drones blot out the sun before major holidays, and the Great Eastern Kalamazoomian Desert is reputedly the most uninhabitable place in the region. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eastern Kalamazoom's national animal is the Bearded Wartsaur, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Death Worship.

Eastern Kalamazoom is ranked 607th in the world and 25th in Osiris for Most Corrupt Governments, with 430.13 Kickbacks Per Hour.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 122ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 325thLargest Retail Industry: 417thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 474thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 496thFattest Citizens: 496thLargest Gambling Industry: 515thMost Avoided: 552ndMost Corrupt Governments: 607thLargest Insurance Industry: 914thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 920thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 979thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,012thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,012thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,159thLargest Mining Sector: 1,368thMost Devout: 1,446thTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,195thRudest Citizens: 2,748thHighest Average Incomes: 3,576thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,601stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,079thMost Efficient Economies: 4,207thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,360thMost Armed: 7,100thHighest Economic Output: 7,140thLargest Agricultural Sector: 7,367thTop
10%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8,569thMost Pro-Market: 12,513thMost Stationary: 12,929thLargest Black Market: 13,886thMost Conservative: 16,478thMost Influential: 16,862nd
Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 13th in the regionFattest Citizens: 14th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 14th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 15th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16th in the regionMost Avoided: 17th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 32nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 39th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 41st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 43rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 50th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 54th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 63rd in the regionMost Devout: 74th in the regionRudest Citizens: 99th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 103rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 128th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 148th in the regionMost Stationary: 151st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 181st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 183rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 188th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 291st in the regionMost Influential: 296th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 350th in the regionMost Armed: 365th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 391st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 428th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Eastern Kalamazoom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides and the Top 5% for Largest Agricultural Sector.
  • : Eastern Kalamazoom was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Influential.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, the Great Eastern Kalamazoomian Desert is reputedly the most uninhabitable place in the region.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, swarms of present-laden delivery drones blot out the sun before major holidays.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, artists regularly face criminal charges and art-burning parties are common.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, photos of picturesque coastal buildings are set against a backdrop of smokestacks and ship hulls.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, bleach is the nation's most common pesticide.
  • : Eastern Kalamazoom was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Influential.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink.
  • : Following new legislation in Eastern Kalamazoom, hunters often become the hunted.

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