The Disputed Territories of Eastern Kalamazoom is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Doctor Death with an iron fist, and notable for its feral children, infamous sell-swords, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.601 billion Eastern Kalatches are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Citadel of Blood. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eastern Kalamazoomian economy, worth a remarkable 5,301 trillion Crosskills a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 319,332 Crosskills, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,979,704 per year while the poor average 3,016, a ratio of 987 to 1.

The Citadel of Blood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lands End, families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia, and new treatments are rejected if they cannot be explained using only one-syllable words. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Eastern Kalamazoom's national animal is the Bearded Wartsaur, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Death Worship.

Eastern Kalamazoom is ranked 177,504^th in the world and 146^th in Lands End for Lowest Crime Rates, with 58.64 law-abiding acts per hour.