by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Kingdom of Emerses

“illis fugientis domu”

Category: Mother Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Pony Lands

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Emerses

Population15.549 billion

CapitalMagna Coltis
LeaderQueen Star Surfer
FaithImperial Orthodox Harmonism

CurrencyEmersian bit
Animalcardinal

The Kingdom of Emerses is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Queen Star Surfer with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.549 billion Emersians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Magna Coltis. The average income tax rate is 40.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Emersian economy, worth a remarkable 2,950 trillion Emersian bits a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 189,738 Emersian bits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, the nation's train stations are widely considered to be the ugliest in Pony Lands, the nation's counterintelligence budget is all up in the air, and every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Emerses's national animal is the cardinal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Imperial Orthodox Harmonism.

Emerses is ranked 122,739th in the world and 13th in Pony Lands for Most Stationary, with 284.31524859368 days.

Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 411thMost Cultured: 1,125thHealthiest Citizens: 1,144thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,740thHighest Food Quality: 1,778thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,788thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,848thTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 3,078thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,302ndMost Devout: 3,618thNicest Citizens: 4,297thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,476thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,210thMost Developed: 5,280thSmartest Citizens: 5,392ndMost Inclusive: 5,771stMost Armed: 7,413thHighest Economic Output: 7,446thLowest Crime Rates: 8,147thLargest Retail Industry: 8,931stRudest Citizens: 9,319thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,261stHighest Average Incomes: 11,804thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,945thSafest: 12,598thBest Weather: 14,805thTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,217thMost Valuable International Artwork: 18,050thMost Advanced Public Education: 18,537thMost Advanced Public Transport: 18,986thLargest Governments: 20,655thMost Efficient Economies: 22,399thLargest Populations: 25,259thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 25,874thMost Patriotic: 26,563rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 28,667th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Emerses's influence in Pony Lands rose from "Squire" to "Vassal".
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains.
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, the nation's counterintelligence budget is all up in the air.
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, the nation's train stations are widely considered to be the ugliest in Pony Lands.
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.
  • : Emerses was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Least Corrupt Governments.
  • : Emerses was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Rudest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, Magna Coltis River is now popularly called "Dead Fish Run".
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, workers have their fruitcake and eat it too.
  • : Following new legislation in Emerses, Air Emerses is rumored to receive more government funding than the Emersian Air Force.

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