Category: Corporate Bordello | ||
Civil Rights: Very Good |
Economy: Frightening |
Political Freedoms: Excellent |
Regional Influence: Minnow
Location: The North Pacific
Population | 19.806 billion |
Capital | יְרוּשָׁלַיִם |
Leader | Benjamin Satanyahu |
Faith | Satanism |
Currency | שקל |
Animal | gazelle |
The Walled Cities of EretzIsrael is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benjamin Satanyahu with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 19.806 billion EretzIsraelians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of יְרוּשָׁלַיִם. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient EretzIsraelian economy, worth an astonishing 14,997 trillion שקלs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 757,199 שקלs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 7,063,303 per year while the poor average 7,180, a ratio of 983 to 1.
Blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines, there's a lot of hot air coming from the Capitol Building, and insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. EretzIsrael's national animal is the gazelle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.
EretzIsrael is ranked 6,127th in the world and 563rd in The North Pacific for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 60.79 Bank.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, insurance companies charge extortionate premiums to cover homes near waterways.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, there's a lot of hot air coming from the Capitol Building.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, it's best not to ask what goes into יְרוּשָׁלַיִם Fried Chicken's secret blend of herbs and spices.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, there's no weight to modern politics.
- : Following new legislation in
EretzIsrael, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card.