by Max Barry

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The Sun-Scorched Saxon Kingdom of Esplandia

“Until the End, Never Broken”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Esplandia

Population18.647 billion

CapitalKarşied
LeaderEmperor Irwin IV
FaithEallostianism

CurrencyScyld
AnimalFalcon

The Sun-Scorched Saxon Kingdom of Esplandia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Irwin IV with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, disturbing lack of elderly people, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.647 billion Esplandians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karşied. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Esplandish economy, worth a remarkable 3,762 trillion Scylds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Cheese Exports, Retail, Basket Weaving, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 201,797 Scylds, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,785,749 per year while the poor average 3,212, a ratio of 555 to 1.

Little girls are in tears as Emperor Irwin IV confiscates their pink princess ballgowns, criminals tell the police where their jurisdiction ends, even snitches get stitches, and the diplomatic corps stinks. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Esplandia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Eallostianism.

Esplandia is ranked 67,249th in the world and 990th in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 707.37459589108 days.

Top
1%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 5thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 161stMost Subsidized Industry: 435thMost Primitive: 665thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 922ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 962ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,223rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,913thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,224thLargest Black Market: 2,224thMost Efficient Economies: 2,430thBest Weather: 2,459thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,972ndTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 3,787thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,850thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,377thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,650thHighest Economic Output: 5,229thHealthiest Citizens: 6,719thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,787thMost Cultured: 7,394thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,438thHighest Average Incomes: 9,899thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,913thMost Secular: 10,392ndMost Advanced Public Education: 12,193rdMost Influential: 13,460thTop
10%
Largest Populations: 18,575thHighest Food Quality: 19,986thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 20,606thMost Advanced Public Transport: 21,085thMost Conservative: 21,758thLargest Governments: 24,349th
Top
1%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4th in the regionMost Primitive: 17th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 20th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 23rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 24th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 45th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 46th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 60th in the regionLargest Black Market: 64th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 93rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 115th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 121st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 133rd in the regionBest Weather: 139th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 151st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 160th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 201st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 208th in the regionLargest Populations: 314th in the regionMost Secular: 328th in the regionMost Cultured: 334th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 335th in the regionTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 355th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 404th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 485th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 616th in the regionMost Conservative: 636th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 684th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Esplandia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, the diplomatic corps stinks.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, even snitches get stitches.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, criminals tell the police where their jurisdiction ends.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, little girls are in tears as Emperor Irwin IV confiscates their pink princess ballgowns.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, people faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, the family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year.
  • : Following new legislation in Esplandia, holiday-makers leave on the same clandestine boats that illegal immigrants arrive in.

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