The Holy Empire of Esterwilde is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Cladius with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, sprawling nuclear power plants, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.361 billion Esterwildeans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Isolde. The average income tax rate is 72.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Esterwildean economy, worth 85.2 trillion Talons a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 62,582 Talons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Explosive diarrhoea is not just a colorful phrase, photographers have to apply for a license to photograph Emperor Cladius, sleeping on the job is recommended, and the intelligence community is playing 4-D chess with an imaginary spy network. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esterwilde's national animal is the Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Esterwilde is ranked 159,182^nd in the world and 2^nd in The Empire of Oreo Lovers for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 737.14 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.