by Max Barry

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The Glorious Bovine of Eternal Yak

“God, Homeland, Liberty” Yakko

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Thriving
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Chicken overlords

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Eternal Yak

Population4.009 billion

CapitalYakitonia
LeaderYakko

CurrencyYakmark
AnimalYak

The Glorious Bovine of Eternal Yak is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Yakko with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.009 billion Eternal Yaks are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yakitonia. The average income tax rate is 5.8%.

The thriving Eternal economy, worth 247 trillion Yakmarks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 61,713 Yakmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance, Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes, and five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eternal Yak's national animal is the Yak, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Eternal Yak is ranked 109,392nd in the world and 5,393rd in Chicken overlords for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring 1,220.47 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

Top
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 6,535thTop
10%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 14,173rdLargest Publishing Industry: 19,626thMost Cheerful Citizens: 20,744thLargest Retail Industry: 21,807thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 22,136th
Top
1%
Most Stationary: 9th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 15th in the regionMost Influential: 19th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 31st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 33rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 36th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 57th in the regionLargest Populations: 78th in the regionMost Inclusive: 89th in the regionTop
5%
Most Cultured: 180th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 209th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 218th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 246th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 299th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 324th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 327th in the regionMost Developed: 362nd in the regionMost Devout: 364th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 460th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 547th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 572nd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 580th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 635th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 660th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 703rd in the regionMost Average: 843rd in the regionNicest Citizens: 870th in the regionMost Conservative: 988th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 997th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector and Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Cheerful Citizens and Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Eternal Yak's influence in Chicken overlords fell from "Page" to "Shoeshiner".
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Eternal Yak was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Eternal Yak, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars.

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