The Democratic States of Euaoi is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Robert Victor Johnston with a fair hand, and renowned for its absence of drug laws, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic population of 12.861 billion Euaoians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ocean Island City. The average income tax rate is 51.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Euaoian economy, worth 216 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Basket Weaving, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Pizza Delivery. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 16,815 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prison visits increase substantially during election years, Euaoian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact, the nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens, and Euaoi successfully hosted the eaiou Olympics. Crime is totally unknown. Euaoi's national animal is the dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Wicca.

Euaoi is ranked 95,704^th in the world and 3^rd in eaiou for Most Primitive, scoring 12.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.