by Max Barry

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The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office

“Knowledge is Power”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Europeia


Europeia Dispatch Office

Population10.268 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 10.268 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,766 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 121,118th in the world and 691st in Europeia for Most Income Equality, scoring 18.61 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Highest Drug Use: 1,608thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,742ndLargest Publishing Industry: 2,296thMost Efficient Economies: 3,831stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,211thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,232ndMost Politically Free: 4,632ndMost Subsidized Industry: 4,754thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,068thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,461stMost Stationary: 5,937thMost Cultured: 6,229thNudest: 6,449thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,518thHighest Economic Output: 6,840thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,937thSmartest Citizens: 7,654thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,747thFattest Citizens: 8,087thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,834thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,406thMost Extreme: 10,342ndMost Developed: 10,356thMost Influential: 11,011thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,497thRudest Citizens: 13,648thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,351stMost Advanced Public Education: 14,452ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,386thMost Armed: 16,371stLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,383rdLargest Insurance Industry: 16,423rd
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 9th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 19th in the regionMost Stationary: 21st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionNudest: 29th in the regionMost Extreme: 35th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 37th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 37th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 39th in the regionFattest Citizens: 45th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 58th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 61st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 62nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 63rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 63rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 66th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 67th in the regionLargest Black Market: 75th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 76th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 77th in the regionLargest Populations: 80th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 86th in the regionRudest Citizens: 93rd in the region

National Happenings

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