by Max Barry

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The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office

“Knowledge is Power”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Europeia


Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.803 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, flagrant waste-dumping, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.803 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,565 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 196,016th in the world and 640th in Europeia for Most Beautiful Environments, with 384.17 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.

Highest Drug Use: 1,699thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,090thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,473rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,629thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,329thMost Efficient Economies: 4,456thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,648thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,838thMost Stationary: 4,844thHighest Economic Output: 6,020thMost Cultured: 6,384thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,211thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,396thSmartest Citizens: 8,473rdHighest Average Incomes: 9,952ndNudest: 10,034thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,172ndMost Influential: 10,187thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,270thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,564thTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,390thMost Developed: 14,879thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,903rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,529thMost Politically Free: 15,549thLargest Populations: 16,770thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,582ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,749thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,454thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,874thMost Extreme: 22,706thMost Inclusive: 22,812thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,167th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionTop
Most Politically Free: 8th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 9th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19th in the regionMost Extreme: 24th in the regionNudest: 27th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 28th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 29th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 33rd in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 45th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 54th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 54th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 55th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 55th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 56th in the regionLargest Populations: 61st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 61st in the regionMost Armed: 63rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the region

National Happenings

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