by Max Barry

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The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office

“Knowledge is Power”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Europeia


Europeia Dispatch Office

Population17.24 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 17.24 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,988 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,327 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 185,930th in the world and 842nd in Europeia for Most Income Equality, scoring 18.61 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Highest Drug Use: 1,365thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,067thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,718thTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,792ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,140thMost Stationary: 4,359thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,537thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,624thMost Efficient Economies: 5,227thHighest Economic Output: 5,686thMost Cultured: 6,491stMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,335thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,890thSmartest Citizens: 8,724thNudest: 9,718thMost Influential: 9,732ndLargest Gambling Industry: 10,523rdHighest Average Incomes: 10,648thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,602ndHighest Food Quality: 12,607thFattest Citizens: 12,953rdTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 14,182ndMost Developed: 15,230thLargest Populations: 15,487thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,811thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,131stLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,703rdMost Extensive Civil Rights: 20,475thMost Politically Free: 20,636thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,259thMost Inclusive: 24,439thHighest Poor Incomes: 24,539thLargest Insurance Industry: 26,491stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 26,684thLargest Governments: 27,318th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9th in the regionMost Politically Free: 9th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 10th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 12th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionMost Extreme: 23rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 23rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 26th in the regionFattest Citizens: 28th in the regionNudest: 30th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 31st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 46th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 52nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 53rd in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 56th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 56th in the regionLargest Populations: 60th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 69th in the regionMost Cultured: 74th in the regionMost Armed: 76th in the regionRudest Citizens: 78th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 78th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 79th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 86th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 91st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 105th in the region

National Happenings

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