by Max Barry

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The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office

“Knowledge is Power”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Europeia


Europeia Dispatch Office

Population21.074 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 21.074 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 3,652 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 10,816th in the world and 31st in Europeia for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 8,673.34 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,357thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 3,203rdMost Stationary: 3,817thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,906thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,625thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,922ndHighest Drug Use: 4,958thHighest Economic Output: 5,392ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,437thMost Efficient Economies: 6,824thMost Cultured: 7,306thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,083rdSmartest Citizens: 9,235thLargest Gambling Industry: 10,816thMost Influential: 13,305thHighest Food Quality: 13,601stLargest Populations: 14,325thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,389thHighest Average Incomes: 14,916thTop
Nudest: 15,603rdFattest Citizens: 15,768thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 16,611thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16,702ndMost Developed: 17,002ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 17,402ndMost Advanced Public Education: 19,952ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 22,621stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 24,356thMost Politically Free: 25,325thMost Inclusive: 25,886thLargest Insurance Industry: 27,683rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 29,504th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 9th in the regionMost Stationary: 9th in the regionMost Politically Free: 13th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 15th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 16th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 20th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 22nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 32nd in the regionNudest: 36th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 39th in the regionFattest Citizens: 40th in the regionLargest Populations: 40th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 40th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 41st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 50th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 61st in the regionMost Extreme: 63rd in the regionMost Cultured: 63rd in the regionTop
Most Cheerful Citizens: 72nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 75th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 76th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 78th in the regionRudest Citizens: 85th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 93rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 108th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 108th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 115th in the regionMost Armed: 117th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 120th in the regionMost Influential: 129th in the region

National Happenings

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