by Max Barry

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The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office

“Knowledge is Power”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Europeia


Europeia Dispatch Office

Population9.952 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.952 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,711 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 6,499th in the world and 68th in Europeia for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 6,554.14 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,582ndTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,709thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,344thMost Efficient Economies: 3,888thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,066thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,214thMost Politically Free: 4,609thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,747thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,125thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,369thMost Stationary: 6,102ndNudest: 6,130thMost Cultured: 6,253rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,499thHighest Economic Output: 6,856thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,005thSmartest Citizens: 7,594thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,657thFattest Citizens: 7,947thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,643rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,939thMost Extreme: 10,103rdMost Developed: 10,195thMost Influential: 11,146thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,232ndRudest Citizens: 13,220thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,796thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,594thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,104thMost Armed: 15,433rdLargest Insurance Industry: 15,509thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,052nd
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 8th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Stationary: 23rd in the regionNudest: 24th in the regionMost Extreme: 33rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 36th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 37th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 39th in the regionFattest Citizens: 43rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 46th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 54th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 62nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 68th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 69th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 71st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 72nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 72nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 73rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 75th in the regionLargest Black Market: 79th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 84th in the regionLargest Populations: 89th in the regionRudest Citizens: 89th in the regionMost Cultured: 94th in the region

National Happenings

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