by Max Barry

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The ELF-Eladen Elite Elven Envoy of Evil Incarnate

“Exporting Evil Since 2002”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: The Axis of Evil

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Evil Incarnate

Population27.034 billion

CapitalEvil Incarnata
Leaderthe android Irana Maltroff
FaithGaron

CurrencyPetal
AnimalShrew

The ELF-Eladen Elite Elven Envoy of Evil Incarnate is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the android Irana Maltroff with an iron fist, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, compulsory military service, and enforced nudity. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 27.034 billion Elves are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Evil Incarnata. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Elven economy, worth an astonishing 10,828 trillion Petals a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 400,548 Petals, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,103,353 per year while the poor average 40,785, a ratio of 51.6 to 1.

Exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling, agricultural employees work for peanuts, celebrity foodies are biting a huge chunk out of the government budget, and in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Elves can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Evil Incarnate's national animal is the Shrew, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Garon.

Evil Incarnate is ranked 276th in the world and 2nd in The Axis of Evil for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 399,747.75 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 155thHighest Disposable Incomes: 276thFattest Citizens: 425thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 513thMost Avoided: 518thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 531stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 615thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 662ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 700thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 704thHighest Economic Output: 724thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 759thMost Armed: 959thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,168thLargest Mining Sector: 1,182ndHighest Average Incomes: 1,184thMost Efficient Economies: 1,289thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,310thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,390thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,585thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,883rdMost Devout: 2,073rdNudest: 2,324thTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 3,063rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,360thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,806thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,867thSmartest Citizens: 4,598thLargest Governments: 4,718thLargest Publishing Industry: 5,334thRudest Citizens: 6,252ndLargest Populations: 6,968thMost Patriotic: 9,881stLargest Gambling Industry: 10,459thLowest Crime Rates: 11,696thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 15,511thMost Subsidized Industry: 15,733rdLargest Black Market: 24,270thMost Advanced Public Education: 27,452ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 30,555th
Top
5%
Nudest: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Fattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3rd in the region

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