The Kingdom of all the veltians of Eyke is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Eyke the 504th with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.346 billion Eykians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eykïnsberg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.9%.

The very strong Eykian economy, worth 194 trillion Steels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 82,899 Steels, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Girls in elementary school classes gaze longingly at boys playing tag, wilderness-dwelling hermits are surprised to find railway stations on their front doorsteps, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, and Jennifer Government is a bestseller. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Eyke's national animal is the Quarter mile Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Eyke is ranked 41,328^th in the world and 262^nd in Europe for Most Patriotic, with 36.13 flags saluted per person per day.