The Democratic Republic of Farmina is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Malcolm Prince with an even hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, zero percent divorce rate, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 34.518 billion Farminans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Verica. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Farminan economy, worth an astonishing 11,135 trillion Harens a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 322,609 Harens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Farmina flights to avoid the pay lavatories, plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go, and the country is rumored to be a Brancalandian puppet state. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Farmina's national animal is the Hawk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Farmina is ranked 202,804^th in the world and 7,556^th in Lazarus for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.55 Crimes Per Hour.