The Watchfires of Fatuous Maximus is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, ban on automobiles, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 24.785 billion Fatuous Maximusians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 30.1%.

The powerhouse Fatuous Maximusian economy, worth a remarkable 1,636 trillion $$s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Gambling. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 66,044 $$s, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, and sniffer dogs are trained to follow clouds of fruity-smelling vapor. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fatuous Maximus's national animal is the ^-^, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Fatuous Maximus is ranked 140,548^th in the world and 1^st in The Mighty Roman Empire for Lowest Crime Rates, with 61.78 law-abiding acts per hour.