by Max Barry

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The Daily Wanderings of Featured Hopper

“Anyone Seen A Carrot?”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Iraq


Featured Hopper

Population4.267 billion

CapitalCarrot City
Leaderthat scwewy wabbit


The Daily Wanderings of Featured Hopper is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by that scwewy wabbit with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.267 billion Featured Hoppers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Carrot City. The average income tax rate is 88.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Featured Hopperian economy, worth 995 trillion carrots a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 233,372 carrots, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites, autumn landscape paintings feature men stripping leaves from bare branches with a vacuum, stern tutting by international commentators has persuaded Featured Hopper to disarm, and carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Featured Hopper's national animal is the hopper, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Featured Hopper is ranked 3,335th in the world and 1st in Iraq for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, scoring 42,948.77 on the Charon Conveyancy Index.

Most Subsidized Industry: 509thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 601stLargest Mining Sector: 901stLargest Retail Industry: 2,188thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,200thMost Patriotic: 2,647thLargest Black Market: 2,890thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,335thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,369thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,559thMost Efficient Economies: 3,664thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,477thMost Avoided: 4,649thHighest Average Incomes: 5,164thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,683rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,008thRudest Citizens: 8,504thLargest Governments: 9,007thHighest Average Tax Rates: 10,645thNudest: 10,706thFattest Citizens: 11,320thMost Devout: 12,956thLowest Crime Rates: 13,906thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14,063rdTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 17,485thMost Ignorant Citizens: 18,871stHighest Economic Output: 24,336thMost Developed: 27,902ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 30,040th
Highest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionTop
Most Conservative: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionNudest: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

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