The Schbungus of Fifee is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by schmoon with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, frequent executions, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.126 billion fifeeans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lincedon. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Fifeean economy, worth 286 trillion Yap Marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 134,797 Yap Marks, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

It turns out you can teach cats new tricks, centuries-old marble buildings are being torn down and replaced with corrugated steel wind tunnels, tweenage nobles order army regiments to do their homework for them, and the government invades its allies more than its enemies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fifee's national animal is the mole, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is God believers.

Fifee is ranked 14,688^th in the world and 1^st in Antraland for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 9,387.68 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.