by Max Barry

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The Militarized State of Flammaland

“Pro nobis; Potentia. Sibi hostibus adverso; Mortem.”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: The Communist Bloc

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Flammaland

Population22.595 billion

CapitalManus Urbs
LeaderSupreme Commander Ares
FaithThe Way of War

CurrencyBronze Coin
AnimalWolf

The Militarized State of Flammaland is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Commander Ares with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, rampant corporate plagiarism, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 22.595 billion Flammalandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Manus Urbs. The average income tax rate is 78.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Flammalandian economy, worth an astonishing 15,842 trillion Bronze Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 701,146 Bronze Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash, the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association, the might of the entire Flammalandian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders, and the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Flammaland's national animal is the Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Way of War.

Flammaland is ranked 306,700th in the world and 1,395th in The Communist Bloc for Most Cultured, scoring -131 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20thLargest Mining Sector: 21stLargest Insurance Industry: 37thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 50thHighest Average Incomes: 100thLargest Black Market: 103rdMost Corrupt Governments: 117thHighest Poor Incomes: 170thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 248thHighest Economic Output: 278thLargest Agricultural Sector: 286thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 287thLowest Crime Rates: 319thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 325thMost Patriotic: 331stLargest Information Technology Sector: 426thMost Secular: 520thMost Avoided: 674thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 750thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 830thLargest Governments: 1,297thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,422ndMost Subsidized Industry: 1,696thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,867thMost Efficient Economies: 1,933rdFattest Citizens: 1,943rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,137thSmartest Citizens: 2,397thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,742ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,005thTop
5%
Largest Publishing Industry: 4,673rdMost Authoritarian: 5,822ndMost Advanced Public Education: 6,002ndMost Conservative: 8,756thMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,148thLargest Populations: 11,957thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 16,201stLargest Retail Industry: 16,956thMost Developed: 17,176thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 19,281stHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,774thMost Extreme: 29,744th
Top
1%
Largest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Patriotic: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 10th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 13th in the regionTop
5%
Most Secular: 15th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 16th in the regionLargest Populations: 19th in the regionMost Conservative: 28th in the regionLargest Governments: 28th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 30th in the regionMost Extreme: 32nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 34th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 37th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 39th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 41st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 42nd in the regionTop
10%
Rudest Citizens: 78th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, the might of the entire Flammalandian Navy is focused on fifty bemused spear-throwing islanders.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, the government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, men who wear pink are seen as dangerously unmanly.
  • : Flammaland was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Disposable Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Flammalandian satellites can detect it.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, meat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy.
  • : Following new legislation in Flammaland, art criticism in Flammaland is scathingly destructive.

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