by Max Barry

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The Galactic Empire of Flarbinia

“Give Me Glorious Victory Or Give Me Honorable Death” Grand Emperor Vladimir Novgorod IV

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Lazarus

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendNuke ControlCards

Flarbinia

Population18.398 billion

CapitalDeroth Ungol
LeaderGrand Emperor Vladimir Novgorod IV
FaithChurch Of Crulmoxius

CurrencyShark'towel
AnimalHellhound

The Galactic Empire of Flarbinia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Grand Emperor Vladimir Novgorod IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.398 billion Flarbinians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Deroth Ungol. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Flarbinian economy, worth an astonishing 10,217 trillion Shark'towels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 555,384 Shark'towels, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,117,046 per year while the poor average 48,999, a ratio of 63.6 to 1.

The most popular stadium acts are one-off performances, unsolved crimes are often pinned on veterans with PTSD, subsidisation of Big Pharma has stopped many corporate executives from having to sell their second homes, and devotion to God is only skin-deep. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Flarbinia's national animal is the Hellhound, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church Of Crulmoxius.

Flarbinia is ranked 36,499th in the world and 2,011th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 48,999.06 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 36thMost Corrupt Governments: 43rdMost Efficient Economies: 75thMost Avoided: 79thHighest Disposable Incomes: 81stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 165thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 170thLargest Retail Industry: 174thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 180thMost Cultured: 180thHighest Average Incomes: 193rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 199thLargest Mining Sector: 199thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 203rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 208thLargest Insurance Industry: 276thLargest Gambling Industry: 296thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 362ndFattest Citizens: 379thHighest Economic Output: 413thMost Armed: 425thLargest Agricultural Sector: 468thRudest Citizens: 487thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 570thLowest Crime Rates: 588thMost Scientifically Advanced: 602ndMost Subsidized Industry: 638thLargest Governments: 830thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 978thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,116thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,284thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,675thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,904thTop
5%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,015thLargest Black Market: 3,091stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,869thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,092ndLargest Populations: 8,070thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,162ndTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 11,380thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,854thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 18,296thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 20,109th
Top
1%
Most Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Cultured: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 10th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 10th in the regionRudest Citizens: 11th in the regionFattest Citizens: 12th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 16th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 20th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 21st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 27th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 29th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 32nd in the regionLargest Governments: 34th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 39th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 45th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 58th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 97th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 97th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 150th in the regionLargest Black Market: 166th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 212th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 233rd in the regionLargest Populations: 240th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 350th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 354th in the regionMost Stationary: 390th in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 454th in the regionMost Influential: 570th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 619th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, devotion to God is only skin-deep.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, subsidisation of Big Pharma has stopped many corporate executives from having to sell their second homes.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, unsolved crimes are often pinned on veterans with PTSD.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, the most popular stadium acts are one-off performances.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on Flarbinian roads.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, a cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, government agents are triangulating the position of the rainbow's end for the purposes of gold acquisition.
  • : Following new legislation in Flarbinia, Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes.

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