by Max Barry

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The Festering Cesspool of Flatulati Incontinentia

“I DRINK, therefore I am...”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Lazarus


Flatulati Incontinentia

Population17.282 billion

CapitalUpper Fährtburg
LeaderRastus Odinga Odinga XXXVII

CurrencyPugnacious Fährt
AnimalCyclops Calf

The Festering Cesspool of Flatulati Incontinentia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Rastus Odinga Odinga XXXVII with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, frequent executions, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.282 billion Flatulati Incontinentians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Upper Fährtburg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Flatulati Incontinentian economy, worth a remarkable 2,336 trillion Pugnacious Fährts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 135,224 Pugnacious Fährts, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 450,823 per year while the poor average 30,199, a ratio of 14.9 to 1.

Getting an infected tattoo is considered a rite of passage in Flatulati Incontinentia, ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain, tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects, and glamping Flatulati Incontinentians won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Flatulati Incontinentia's national animal is the Cyclops Calf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Odinganism.

Flatulati Incontinentia is ranked 168,157th in the world and 6,200th in Lazarus for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -6.69 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Largest Black Market: 1,985thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,293rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,122ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,927thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 4,054thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,482ndNudest: 4,644thMost Beautiful Environments: 5,129thHighest Economic Output: 6,041stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,231stMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,346thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,196thBest Weather: 8,200thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,207thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,294thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,418thLargest Populations: 8,928thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,764thHighest Average Tax Rates: 9,812thMost Armed: 10,024thTop
Most Developed: 11,898thLargest Governments: 12,365thLowest Crime Rates: 13,614thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13,684thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,973rdHighest Average Incomes: 17,249thMost Efficient Economies: 19,686th
Largest Black Market: 108th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 130th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 191st in the regionNudest: 198th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 220th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 242nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 254th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 267th in the regionLargest Populations: 288th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 292nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 343rd in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 410th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 442nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 443rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 446th in the regionBest Weather: 450th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 460th in the regionMost Armed: 492nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 514th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 552nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 595th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 680th in the regionMost Developed: 683rd in the regionLargest Governments: 734th in the region

National Happenings

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