by Max Barry

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The Natural Union of Fringillidae

“Caelebs”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Middle Earth

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Fringillidae

Population3.698 billion

CapitalPyrrhula
LeaderCarduelinae
FaithFringilla

Currencyfinch
Animalchaffinch

The Natural Union of Fringillidae is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Carduelinae with an iron fist, and remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, anti-smoking policies, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.698 billion Fringillidaeans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pyrrhula. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 87.5%.

The strong Fringillidaean economy, worth 554 trillion finches a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 150,035 finches, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 472,904 per year while the poor average 36,389, a ratio of 13.0 to 1.

The consumption of vegetables is illegal, raindances intended to summon storms instead attract tourists, the Coast Guard is pioneering a quixotic program to train fish, and punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Fringillidae's national animal is the chaffinch, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Fringilla.

Fringillidae is ranked 170,531st in the world and 104th in Middle Earth for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -14.75 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 191stMost Ignorant Citizens: 368thMost Devout: 575thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 681stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,169thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 2,184thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,535thMost Avoided: 2,812thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,057thLargest Mining Sector: 3,129thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,561stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,547thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,119thMost Conservative: 5,536thMost Authoritarian: 5,599thMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,481stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,526thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8,043rdTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 9,166thLargest Governments: 11,976thHighest Average Incomes: 12,952ndMost Extreme: 14,109thLowest Crime Rates: 14,494th
Top
1%
Most Devout: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionMost Conservative: 6th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 8th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 10th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, the Coast Guard is pioneering a quixotic program to train fish.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, raindances intended to summon storms instead attract tourists.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, the consumption of vegetables is illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, sending sick politicians "Get Well Soon" cards is considered bribery.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, tourists visiting the nation are harangued for being capitalist pig-dogs.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, it is firmly believed that cameras steal souls.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, foreign governments regularly accuse the Fringillidaean military of war crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Fringillidae, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.

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