by Max Barry

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The Theocracy of Futanaria Dolcettia

“We are Food”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Futanaria Dolcettia

Population11.051 billion

CapitalNecrobabe
LeaderHigh Chef

CurrencyFlesh
AnimalCow

The Theocracy of Futanaria Dolcettia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by High Chef with an iron fist, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, otherworldly petting zoo, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 11.051 billion Dolcettians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Necrobabe. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The strong Futanaria Dolcettian economy, worth a remarkable 2,404 trillion Fleshes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Basket Weaving industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 217,595 Fleshes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 907,931 per year while the poor average 34,040, a ratio of 26.7 to 1.

The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly, locally produced computer games are being released faster than gamers can play them, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits, and advanced mathematics books explain how two plus two equals five. Crime is totally unknown. Futanaria Dolcettia's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Futanaria Dolcettia is ranked 36,500th in the world and 1,113th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 5,120.51 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 12thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 48thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 62ndMost Advanced Public Education: 197thMost Advanced Public Transport: 254thMost Cultured: 370thLargest Black Market: 670thMost Beautiful Environments: 808thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 826thMost Corrupt Governments: 998thRudest Citizens: 1,040thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,222ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,247thLargest Governments: 1,681stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,095thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,268thTop
5%
Longest Average Lifespans: 2,502ndMost Primitive: 2,736thHighest Average Incomes: 5,018thHighest Economic Output: 5,995thNudest: 7,125thHealthiest Citizens: 7,345thSmartest Citizens: 7,364thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,176thMost Secular: 8,668thMost Rebellious Youth: 11,039thTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 13,574thLowest Crime Rates: 13,621stBest Weather: 13,717thHighest Drug Use: 20,084th
Top
1%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 11th in the regionMost Cultured: 16th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 19th in the regionLargest Black Market: 21st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 24th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 34th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 34th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 38th in the regionRudest Citizens: 39th in the regionLargest Governments: 46th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 55th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 63rd in the regionTop
5%
Longest Average Lifespans: 65th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 132nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 157th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 161st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 164th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 168th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 226th in the regionMost Primitive: 231st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 241st in the regionMost Secular: 263rd in the regionBest Weather: 294th in the regionNudest: 319th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 326th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 366th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 394th in the regionLargest Populations: 406th in the regionMost Developed: 611th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, advanced mathematics books explain how two plus two equals five.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, locally produced computer games are being released faster than gamers can play them.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, the government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, landless farmers wander forlornly in the government's many national parks.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, citizens living in underground cities have developed a healthy green glow.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, if foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to Futanaria Dolcettia.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.
  • : Following new legislation in Futanaria Dolcettia, High Chef's personal home is one of the Rejected Realms's most notorious party destinations.

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