by Max Barry

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The Napoleonic Colonial Empire of Galster

“Honneur et Patrie”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Confederation of Corrupt Dictators

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Galster

Population8.621 billion

CapitalMarseille
LeaderNapoléon Ier
FaithAgnosticism

CurrencyFrench franc
AnimalRooster

The Napoleonic Colonial Empire of Galster is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Napoléon Ier with an iron fist, and renowned for its avant-garde cinema, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 8.621 billion French are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marseille. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient French economy, worth a remarkable 2,069 trillion French francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 240,044 French francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, works of historical fiction contain a surprising lack of historical figures, and the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by French. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Galster's national animal is the Rooster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Galster is ranked 466th in the world and 1st in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 14,763.53 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 85thLowest Crime Rates: 130thMost Pacifist: 134thMost Advanced Public Transport: 157thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 169thSafest: 198thMost Advanced Public Education: 230thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 231stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 248thHighest Average Tax Rates: 278thMost Subsidized Industry: 343rdLargest Governments: 350thMost Beautiful Environments: 461stLargest Welfare Programs: 466thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 540thMost Developed: 582ndBest Weather: 629thLongest Average Lifespans: 699thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,120thNicest Citizens: 1,214thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,317thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,373rdSmartest Citizens: 1,399thTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 3,299thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,683rdMost Corrupt Governments: 4,269thMost Efficient Economies: 4,873rdHighest Economic Output: 5,827thHealthiest Citizens: 5,919thTop
10%
Most Cultured: 9,345thLargest Information Technology Sector: 10,899thMost Authoritarian: 12,731st
Top
1%
Most Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the regionBest Weather: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 13th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 27th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 29th in the regionLargest Populations: 29th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 31st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 32nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Cultured: 35th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 41st in the regionMost Income Equality: 62nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Galster's influence in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators fell from "Sprat" to "Minnow".
  • : Galster's influence in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators rose from "Minnow" to "Sprat".
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by French.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, works of historical fiction contain a surprising lack of historical figures.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, religious education is a new government priority.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, devotion to God is only skin-deep.
  • : Following new legislation in Galster, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats.

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