by Max Barry

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The People's Republic of Gambella

“It could be better.” James Gamble

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Dominator

Location: Gambella

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Gambella

Population25.262 billion

CapitalTurd Ferguson
LeaderJames Gamble
Faithyour mom

CurrencyDangle
AnimalOso

The People's Republic of Gambella is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by James Gamble with an even hand, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, rampant corporate plagiarism, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 25.262 billion Gambellans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turd Ferguson. The average income tax rate is 75.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gambellan economy, worth a remarkable 6,434 trillion Dangles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 254,695 Dangles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's nuclear defence policy is to "turn the other cheek", things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on Gambella. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gambella's national animal is the Oso, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is your mom.

Gambella is ranked 2,364th in the world and 1st in Gambella for Most Stationary, with 3,947.7058068 days.

Top
1%
Largest Black Market: 478thBest Weather: 798thLargest Information Technology Sector: 914thMost Beautiful Environments: 990thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,142ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,883rdHighest Economic Output: 2,101stHighest Poor Incomes: 2,177thMost Stationary: 2,364thMost Devout: 2,567thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,700thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,783rdTop
5%
Healthiest Citizens: 3,026thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,460thHighest Food Quality: 3,569thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,527thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,643rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,767thHighest Average Incomes: 5,034thMost Inclusive: 5,099thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,152ndMost Developed: 6,485thMost Cultured: 6,948thLargest Populations: 7,775thMost Efficient Economies: 7,907thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,603rdMost Influential: 9,752ndSmartest Citizens: 9,871stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,361stLargest Governments: 10,801stMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,240thTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 15,455thMost Patriotic: 22,156thHighest Average Tax Rates: 25,834thLargest Welfare Programs: 27,141stHighest Disposable Incomes: 27,608thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 29,117th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Gambella was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Following new legislation in Gambella, the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on Gambella.
  • : Following new legislation in Gambella, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll.
  • : Gambella was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Healthiest Citizens.
  • : Gambella was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Gambella, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
  • : Gambella was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : Following new legislation in Gambella, the nation's nuclear defence policy is to "turn the other cheek".
  • : Following new legislation in Gambella, no one cares when it's your birthday.
  • : Gambella was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.

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