by Max Barry

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The Grand Holy Imperial Empire of General Mike

“Even the end of the world will be dull and a let down.” Imperial Über Kaisführer Michael I

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Lazarus


General Mike

Population30.778 billion

LeaderImperial Über Kaisführer Michael I
Faithsome sort of cult

Currencyhyperinflated dollar

The Grand Holy Imperial Empire of General Mike is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Imperial Über Kaisführer Michael I with an iron fist, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 30.778 billion Michaeans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mikegrad. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Michaean economy, worth an astonishing 10,279 trillion hyperinflated dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 333,976 hyperinflated dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are often punished for the sins of the fathers, the freedom to be free is always just out of reach, science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, and Imperial Über Kaisführer Michael I signs the laws but abides by none of them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. General Mike's national animal is the Vietcong, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is some sort of cult.

General Mike is ranked 156,087th in the world and 5,765th in Lazarus for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -37.66 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Healthiest Citizens: 45thMost Advanced Public Transport: 48thLargest Black Market: 50thMost Corrupt Governments: 59thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 80thMost Cultured: 114thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 158thLargest Welfare Programs: 185thLowest Crime Rates: 186thMost Subsidized Industry: 191stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 201stHighest Poor Incomes: 217thMost Advanced Public Education: 262ndSmartest Citizens: 286thMost Beautiful Environments: 296thHighest Economic Output: 310thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 313thMost Developed: 347thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 367thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 398thLongest Average Lifespans: 413thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 783rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 839thLargest Governments: 998thHighest Average Incomes: 1,098thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,290thLargest Populations: 1,509thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 1,656thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,504thMost Influential: 3,001stMost Secular: 3,652ndLargest Publishing Industry: 3,701stMost Pacifist: 5,149thMost Inclusive: 6,163rdMost Stationary: 7,511thMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,665thTop
Most Authoritarian: 8,726thMost Income Equality: 8,972ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,430th
Most Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 6th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 6th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 8th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9th in the regionMost Developed: 9th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 9th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 12th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 36th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 40th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 47th in the regionLargest Governments: 47th in the regionLargest Populations: 51st in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 74th in the regionMost Influential: 74th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 84th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 92nd in the regionMost Stationary: 141st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 165th in the regionMost Secular: 170th in the regionMost Income Equality: 182nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 268th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 281st in the regionTop
Most Inclusive: 323rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 395th in the regionMost Extreme: 530th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 534th in the region

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