The Theocracy of Glossapolis is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Bartholomew I of Theonika with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, aversion to nipples, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.729 billion Glossapolitans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Theonika. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 88.3%.

The strong Glossapolitan economy, worth 82.6 trillion Soldoes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Cheese Exports industry. Average income is 47,764 Soldoes, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

One year's corporation tax from three international megacorporations has funded one dozen shiny black pencils for Bartholomew I of Theonika's office, flatulent people are left to die of cancer at the end of hospital waiting lists, the government is spending millions on lawyers' fees trying to get Bartholomew I of Theonika off a murder charge, and chickens frolic freely on swings and roundabouts in Theonika's playgrounds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Glossapolis's national animal is the Lamb, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Glossapolitan Orthodoxy.

Glossapolis is ranked 103,155^th in the world and 75^th in Lands End for Largest Governments, scoring 16.4 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.